To modify a phrase from our esteemed First Lady, For the first time in my life I’m ashamed to be an American.
Yesterday was the surest sign I’ve seen that this country is lost. And for the first time I’m not sure we can ever win her back.
The worst President in the history of our country, who added trillions of dollars in debt, who lied about pulling us out of one war while sticking our noses in multiple other regional conflicts (usually on the wrong side). Who didn’t improve our economy one iota in four years. Who saddled us with a socialized medicine program that is destined to fail just as badly as every other attempt across the world.
AND WE RE-ELECTED HIM!!!!!!!!!!
This country is well and truly fucked. And you know what? We deserve it.
I don’t know what to do next.
And that’s why I’m going on sabbatical. Until I know what the fuck to do with my life and with my country I’m not going to waste time writing frivolous shit. I’ll re-post some of my old stories from time to time so the page doesn’t go totally dark (does WordPress shut down blogs if they go dormant??), but for now I have nothing new to say that won’t just be angry, violent, possibly illegal ranting and calling to arms.
So good-bye for now. Good luck to all of you. I’m getting a gun tomorrow.
I came up just short this past year, finishing 2nd. (I still can’t believe I couldn’t get a single member of Jersey Shore to keel over for me. Guess all that talk about being good wingmen and “jumping on grenades” is just for show.)
But enough about last year. It’s a new season and 2nd place isn’t going to cut it anymore. So this year I’ve compiled a deep and talented roster to carry me to victory. Last year I went for too many deep balls, neglecting the short passes and running game that’s essential to moving the football. I’ve corrected that this year with nine people over the age of 80. Won’t get as many points as when some young celeb overdoses on bath salts, but they’ll keep the chains moving until I hit the big pay day.
For those of you keeping track at home, here’s my list for 2013. Enjoy!
Special thanks to the fine folks at Hookers & Booze for putting on the Dead Pool again this year.
|Greg Louganis||01/29/1960||Still Alive||48||Approved|
|Bashar al-Assad||09/11/1965||Still Alive||53||Approved|
|Jerry Sandusky||01/26/1944||Still Alive||32||Approved|
|Harper Lee||04/28/1926||Still Alive||14||Approved|
|Zsa Zsa Gabor||02/06/1917||Still Alive||5||Approved|
|Billy Graham||11/07/1918||Still Alive||6||Approved|
|Bill Ayers||12/26/1944||Still Alive||32||Approved|
|Kim Jong-un||01/08/1983||Still Alive||71||Approved|
|Hamad Al Khalifa||01/28/1950||Still Alive||38||Approved|
|Silvio Berlusconi||09/29/1936||Still Alive||24||Approved|
|Prince Harry||09/15/1984||Still Alive||72||Approved|
|Stephen Hawking||01/08/1942||Still Alive||30||Approved|
|Omar Abdel-Rahman||05/03/1938||Still Alive||26||Approved|
|Pat Summitt||06/14/1952||Still Alive||40||Approved|
|Mikhail Gorbachev||03/02/1931||Still Alive||19||Approved|
|Dick Van Dyke||12/13/1925||Still Alive||13||Approved|
|Fidel Castro||08/13/1926||Still Alive||14||Approved|
|Jake Lamotta||07/10/1922||Still Alive||10||Approved|
|Robert Mugabe||02/21/1924||Still Alive||12||Approved|
|Bret Michaels||03/15/1963||Still Alive||51||Approved|
|Tariq Aziz||04/28/1936||Still Alive||24||Approved|
|muhammad ali||01/17/1942||Still Alive||30||Approved|
|Ronald Gray||01/01/1966||Still Alive||54||Approved|
|Chuck Berry||10/18/1926||Still Alive||14||Approved|
|Dwayne (Lil Wayne) Carter||09/27/1982||Still Alive||70||Approved|
Or apparently anyone else on the East Coast.
Except for those marathon runners…
Anyone want to take bets that Obama uses the hurricane as an excuse for massive recounts all across the country (including states not affected by Sandy)? And as with all investigations of “voter irregularities,” the commies won’t stop recounting until they’ve magically found the votes they need.
Get ready for war folks, they’re about to try and steal another election.
Have as good a weekend as you can…