What I’m Thankful For This Year

The End

To modify a phrase from our esteemed First Lady, For the first time in my life I’m ashamed to be an American.

Yesterday was the surest sign I’ve seen that this country is lost.  And for the first time I’m not sure we can ever win her back.

The worst President in the history of our country, who added trillions of dollars in debt, who lied about pulling us out of one war while sticking our noses in multiple other regional conflicts (usually on the wrong side).  Who didn’t improve our economy one iota in four years.  Who saddled us with a socialized medicine program that is destined to fail just as badly as every other attempt across the world.

AND WE RE-ELECTED HIM!!!!!!!!!!

This country is well and truly fucked.  And you know what?  We deserve it.

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I don’t know what to do next.

And that’s why I’m going on sabbatical.  Until I know what the fuck to do with my life and with my country I’m not going to waste time writing frivolous shit.  I’ll re-post some of my old stories from time to time so the page doesn’t go totally dark (does WordPress shut down blogs if they go dormant??), but for now I have nothing new to say that won’t just be angry, violent, possibly illegal ranting and calling to arms.

So good-bye for now.  Good luck to all of you.  I’m getting a gun tomorrow.

 

Another Year, Another Dead Pool

I came up just short this past year, finishing 2nd.  (I still can’t believe I couldn’t get a single member of Jersey Shore to keel over for me.  Guess all that talk about being good wingmen and “jumping on grenades” is just for show.)

I’d like to thank Joe Paterno, Rodney King and, of course, convicted terrorist Abdelbaset ali al-Megrahi for keeling over for me last year.  Thanks for being team players.

But enough about last year.  It’s a new season and 2nd place isn’t going to cut it anymore.  So this year I’ve compiled a deep and talented roster to carry me to victory.  Last year I went for too many deep balls, neglecting the short passes and running game that’s essential to moving the football.  I’ve corrected that this year with nine people over the age of 80.  Won’t get as many points as when some young celeb overdoses on bath salts, but they’ll keep the chains moving until I hit the big pay day.

For those of you keeping track at home, here’s my list for 2013.  Enjoy!

Special thanks to the fine folks at Hookers & Booze for putting on the Dead Pool again this year.

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Greg Louganis	01/29/1960	Still Alive	48	Approved
Bashar al-Assad	09/11/1965	Still Alive	53	Approved
Jerry Sandusky	01/26/1944	Still Alive	32	Approved
Harper Lee	04/28/1926	Still Alive	14	Approved
Zsa Zsa Gabor	02/06/1917	Still Alive	5	Approved
Billy Graham	11/07/1918	Still Alive	6	Approved
Bill Ayers	12/26/1944	Still Alive	32	Approved
Kim Jong-un	01/08/1983	Still Alive	71	Approved
Hamad Al Khalifa	01/28/1950	Still Alive	38	Approved
Silvio Berlusconi	09/29/1936	Still Alive	24	Approved
Prince Harry	09/15/1984	Still Alive	72	Approved
Stephen Hawking	01/08/1942	Still Alive	30	Approved
Omar Abdel-Rahman	05/03/1938	Still Alive	26	Approved
Pat Summitt	06/14/1952	Still Alive	40	Approved
Mikhail Gorbachev	03/02/1931	Still Alive	19	Approved
Dick Van Dyke	12/13/1925	Still Alive	13	Approved
Fidel Castro	08/13/1926	Still Alive	14	Approved
Jake Lamotta	07/10/1922	Still Alive	10	Approved
Robert Mugabe	02/21/1924	Still Alive	12	Approved
Bret Michaels	03/15/1963	Still Alive	51	Approved
Tariq Aziz	04/28/1936	Still Alive	24	Approved
muhammad ali	01/17/1942	Still Alive	30	Approved
Ronald Gray	01/01/1966	Still Alive	54	Approved
Chuck Berry	10/18/1926	Still Alive	14	Approved
Dwayne (Lil Wayne) Carter	09/27/1982	Still Alive	70	Approved

Bikini Mondays 11/5

One day til election.  Starting to get nervous.

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Barack Obama Doesn’t Care About Black People.

Or apparently anyone else on the East Coast.

Except for those marathon runners…

Anyone want to take bets that Obama uses the hurricane as an excuse for massive recounts all across the country (including states not affected by Sandy)?  And as with all investigations of “voter irregularities,” the commies won’t stop recounting until they’ve magically found the votes they need.

Get ready for war folks, they’re about to try and steal another election.

Have as good a weekend as you can…

No More Baseball for 5 Months!

 

Bikini Mondays 10/29

No bikinis today, sorry.  I’ve been thinking about a Long Cool Woman in a Black Dress.  Rockin’ out to The Hollies classic right now, as a matter of fact.

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