What I’m Thankful For This Year

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The End

To modify a phrase from our esteemed First Lady, For the first time in my life I’m ashamed to be an American.

Yesterday was the surest sign I’ve seen that this country is lost.  And for the first time I’m not sure we can ever win her back.

The worst President in the history of our country, who added trillions of dollars in debt, who lied about pulling us out of one war while sticking our noses in multiple other regional conflicts (usually on the wrong side).  Who didn’t improve our economy one iota in four years.  Who saddled us with a socialized medicine program that is destined to fail just as badly as every other attempt across the world.

AND WE RE-ELECTED HIM!!!!!!!!!!

This country is well and truly fucked.  And you know what?  We deserve it.

I don’t know what to do next.

And that’s why I’m going on sabbatical.  Until I know what the fuck to do with my life and with my country I’m not going to waste time writing frivolous shit.  I’ll re-post some of my old stories from time to time so the page doesn’t go totally dark (does WordPress shut down blogs if they go dormant??), but for now I have nothing new to say that won’t just be angry, violent, possibly illegal ranting and calling to arms.

So good-bye for now.  Good luck to all of you.  I’m getting a gun tomorrow.

 

Another Year, Another Dead Pool

I came up just short this past year, finishing 2nd.  (I still can’t believe I couldn’t get a single member of Jersey Shore to keel over for me.  Guess all that talk about being good wingmen and “jumping on grenades” is just for show.)

I’d like to thank Joe Paterno, Rodney King and, of course, convicted terrorist Abdelbaset ali al-Megrahi for keeling over for me last year.  Thanks for being team players.

But enough about last year.  It’s a new season and 2nd place isn’t going to cut it anymore.  So this year I’ve compiled a deep and talented roster to carry me to victory.  Last year I went for too many deep balls, neglecting the short passes and running game that’s essential to moving the football.  I’ve corrected that this year with nine people over the age of 80.  Won’t get as many points as when some young celeb overdoses on bath salts, but they’ll keep the chains moving until I hit the big pay day.

For those of you keeping track at home, here’s my list for 2013.  Enjoy!

Special thanks to the fine folks at Hookers & Booze for putting on the Dead Pool again this year.

Greg Louganis 01/29/1960 Still Alive 48 Approved
Bashar al-Assad 09/11/1965 Still Alive 53 Approved
Jerry Sandusky 01/26/1944 Still Alive 32 Approved
Harper Lee 04/28/1926 Still Alive 14 Approved
Zsa Zsa Gabor 02/06/1917 Still Alive 5 Approved
Billy Graham 11/07/1918 Still Alive 6 Approved
Bill Ayers 12/26/1944 Still Alive 32 Approved
Kim Jong-un 01/08/1983 Still Alive 71 Approved
Hamad Al Khalifa 01/28/1950 Still Alive 38 Approved
Silvio Berlusconi 09/29/1936 Still Alive 24 Approved
Prince Harry 09/15/1984 Still Alive 72 Approved
Stephen Hawking 01/08/1942 Still Alive 30 Approved
Omar Abdel-Rahman 05/03/1938 Still Alive 26 Approved
Pat Summitt 06/14/1952 Still Alive 40 Approved
Mikhail Gorbachev 03/02/1931 Still Alive 19 Approved
Dick Van Dyke 12/13/1925 Still Alive 13 Approved
Fidel Castro 08/13/1926 Still Alive 14 Approved
Jake Lamotta 07/10/1922 Still Alive 10 Approved
Robert Mugabe 02/21/1924 Still Alive 12 Approved
Bret Michaels 03/15/1963 Still Alive 51 Approved
Tariq Aziz 04/28/1936 Still Alive 24 Approved
muhammad ali 01/17/1942 Still Alive 30 Approved
Ronald Gray 01/01/1966 Still Alive 54 Approved
Chuck Berry 10/18/1926 Still Alive 14 Approved
Dwayne (Lil Wayne) Carter 09/27/1982 Still Alive 70 Approved

Bikini Mondays 11/5

One day til election.  Starting to get nervous.

Barack Obama Doesn’t Care About Black People.

Or apparently anyone else on the East Coast.

Except for those marathon runners…

Anyone want to take bets that Obama uses the hurricane as an excuse for massive recounts all across the country (including states not affected by Sandy)?  And as with all investigations of “voter irregularities,” the commies won’t stop recounting until they’ve magically found the votes they need.

Get ready for war folks, they’re about to try and steal another election.

Have as good a weekend as you can…

No More Baseball for 5 Months!

 

Bikini Mondays 10/29

No bikinis today, sorry.  I’ve been thinking about a Long Cool Woman in a Black Dress.  Rockin’ out to The Hollies classic right now, as a matter of fact.

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