Butt Sex: It’s Not For Everyone


I have a very limited experience with anal sex.  For some people that would be a source of great regret.  But the truth is, I’m ok with it.  There are many things in life I’m still hoping to experience: a threesome, sex in a tanning booth, a girl that doesn’t speak a word of English, cumming in a girl’s ear…. ok, I made that last one up, but you get the idea.  But anal sex just isn’t a priority for me.  I’m perfectly content with a tight pussy and a wet mouth.

My only incident with anal sex came when I was dating an Asian girl, who we’ll call Sun-Yi.  Sun-Yi was a lot of fun, she had a nice little body and was an absolute freak in bed.  This girl had no limits.  She had amazing muscular control of her pussy, she could basically milk my cock without me even having to move.  And she absolutely loved giving blow jobs and had excellent deep throat skills, plus she loved gagging to get that extra inch down her throat.

But by far the best thing about Sun-Yi was that, because of her apparent lack of experience with non-Asian men, she thought my average penis was just massive.  Let me tell you, there are few things in life that are a bigger turn on than fucking a girl and having her scream at the top of her lungs how much she loves your huge cock.  It reminds me of the old joke, “Find yourself a girl with small hands, it makes your dick look bigger.”  It’s all relative, folks.

Sun-Yi was also into anal sex, and although she was rather nervous about taking my “huge” dick up her pooper, she was absolutely hell bent on trying.

The first time we decided to give it a try she had a few drinks to relax before we got to work.  I managed to get the head in before she started having second thoughts.  Gasping and sputtering about how big I was, reaching a hand behind her to hold me back, I was already pretty certain this wasn’t going to work.  But give the girl credit, she was determined.  After taking a minute to get used to it, she told me to start pushing very very slowly.

And so I spent the next 10 minutes slowly drilling into her ass while she laid facedown on the bed, groaning and cursing and slapping the mattress like a pro wrestler caught in the figure-four leglock.  She clearly wasn’t enjoying herself despite her claims to the contrary.  And it wasn’t all that good for me either; sure, her ass was tight as a vice, but I could barely move, let alone stroke, so it was pretty much a waste.

When I had about four inches in her butthole she turned her head back towards me and asked, “Is that all of it?”

I couldn’t help but laugh. “Uh… about half, babe.”  She collapsed back on the bed. “Well, maybe a little more than half…”  I tried to console her, but she was deflated and defeated.

“I can’t do it,” she whimpered. “I’m sorry, I just can’t.”

I have to admit, I didn’t mind at all.  This buttfucking stuff wasn’t nearly as much fun as it looked like in porn.  And to be honest, the ego boost of having this self-proclaimed lover of anal be unable to handle me was better than any buggering could ever be.

Sun-Yi and I lived in different states so it would be about a month before we got to spend another weekend together.  And clearly in that time she had been thinking about her failure.  She was eager for a rematch with my penis.  We were making out on her couch, slowly disrobing as we prepared to go at it when she said she wanted to try anal again.  I had already started fingering her pussy when she asked me to finger her asshole.  Alright, I can do that. Getting a finger wet with her juices I slowly started penetrating her ass. No problem there, and she quickly asked for a second finger. Soon I had two fingers buried to the knuckle inside her, just pluggin’ away.  Sun-Yi was in heaven, moaning and grinding her pelvis into the couch cushions.  Her ass was slowly loosening and I was just beginning to think this could possibly work.

And then I felt something.

Yep, I was definitely touching shit way up in her asshole.  It was one of the most mortifying moments of my life.  I pulled my fingers out of her ass so quick it made a popping sound, taking her breath away.  “Uh, babe,” I said, “I don’t know exactly how to say this, but you’re kind of messy down there.”  And then I ran to the bathroom to wash my hands.  Repeatedly.

We never tried anal again.

We broke up shortly after that.  No, it had nothing to do with the anal.  The big issue was that, although she’s by far the biggest freak I’ve ever had sex with, she also was really into Jesus.  And although I am very respectful of other people’s beliefs I’m not a religious person myself.  This bothered her to no end.  I agreed to try going to church with her, but I told her not to get her hopes up and expect me to “see the light” just because I sat through a service.  It also bothered her immensely that, because I’m not passionate about any one faith, I can be annoyingly objective about all faiths.  One time she was badmouthing Catholics as “not real Christians,” to which I responded, “I don’t know much, but I’m pretty sure Catholics are the original Christians.”  That did not sit well with her, and shortly thereafter she dumped me.

But I have no animosity.  I can honestly say I hope she found herself a nice God-fearing man who could give her the butthole pleasures I never could.

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5 Comments

  1. Kinda boring…. There was so much more to the gun wheeling Sun-Yi

    • You’re so critical. I can’t tell all my stories at once; that would make it an autobiography instead of a blog. Don’t worry, there will be more of Sun-Yi. Including a comparison of the gun proclivities of all my ex-gf’s.

  2. I got so pissed when I got this post via email on my phone, and it cut off right at the anal sex part! LOL I’m home now and first thing I did was look you up so I could finish reading. 🙂

  3. Nice cartoon!

  4. Ahhh Sun-Yi. Bummer I never got to meet her. She sounds like a nice girl. Great story.


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