Last Day

Cleaning out the desk.

Removing incriminating documents from the computer.

Going to sign my meager severance papers in about an hour.

All in all, not a bad day.

Looks like I’ll be here in Utah for about another month loading up the moving truck.  I intend to start living the Jersey Shore lifestyle.  GTL every day.  Gym-Tan-Laundry.  And play with the dogs.  Sounds like a pretty good life for the short term.

Thanks to all for the kind words and support.  I’ll be in touch.


You’re Fired

You always think it won’t happen to you.  No matter how many people you know that it’s happened to.  People smarter than you, people more tactful than you, people who don’t blog about sex and alcohol from work like you.

Laid off.  Eliminated.  Downsized.  Let go.  Fired.

However you want to put it.

It’s a humbling experience.  But you know what?  It’s going to be for the best.  First off, it’s going to get me out of this hellhole I call End Of The World, Utah.  No more waiting around for the perfect opportunity, the perfect job in the perfect city.  No choice now but to pull up stumps and get the fuck outta Dodge.  And second, I can now claim to be one of the millions and millions of Americans that lost their job under Obama!  The fact that this one isn’t really Obama’s fault –blame this job casualty on an Athletic Director presiding over the smallest budget in his conference but still pulling down the 3rd highest salary in the league– is irrelevant, I’m blaming it on him!  And in an election year too!

You’re welcome, America.

So while I don’t know what the future holds, I’m pretty excited to be closing this chapter.  My blogging may become a little more scarce in the next couple months, or maybe it will pick up once I join the ranks of the unemployed.  After all, I only have so much crap stored up on my DVR, and I CANNOT watch daytime TV.

Maybe I’ll start writing a novel.

Maybe I’ll get drunk.

Maybe I’ll get drunk and then start writing a novel.

Maybe I’ll watch so much porn I develop carpal tunnel syndrome and can never write again.

Anything is possible.  After all, this is still America.  And I still believe in the American Dream, even if that dream involves being a greeter at Walmart until something better comes along.  It will all work out in the end.  Don’t worry about me.