Love is a Battlefield: Sex Injuries

I travelled cross country this weekend to see my girlfriend and accompany her to a family wedding.  It was one of those moments everyone dreads in a relationship, meeting the family for the first time.  Only in this case there was no easing into it, meeting the parents one time and siblings another and so forth.  Nope, this was trial by fire, cramming as much family into four days as humanly possible; aunts and uncles, nephews and nieces, brothers and sisters, in-laws, you name it.  And no support or backup for me, no friendly faces besides the girlfriend.  It was a thoroughly stressful experience.

But at least I got to have sex.  A lot.  I mean like a dozen times in 80-some hours.  So that was nice.

But it was not without its price.  I took a beating this weekend.  For starters, one of our favorite positions is with me standing at the edge of the bed, her legs draped over my shoulders.

Normally this is a great position for both of us.  It’s a nice break from one of us being on top and having to support ourselves with our arms for extended time.  By holding her legs it makes her extra tight, and somehow I seem to hit her spots just right, so it’s a win-win for both of us.

The problem, though, is that the bed in her sister’s guestroom was somewhat shorter than either mine or hers.  I didn’t realize it until I went for insertion and had to squat lower than usual.  But I didn’t really think about it too much and just went with it.

The first time was fine.  Better than fine, in fact, it was fucking spectacular, and I was cumming way sooner than I would have liked.  But as the days went on and we repeated the position, I found myself tiring and having to change up positions quicker than usual.  And Sunday morning when I woke up my back was sore as hell and my hamstrings were so tight I could barely bend over.

I never use drugs, I’ve never even bought Tylenol or Advil in my life, but the first flight of my trip home was so miserable I had to pay eighty-seven bucks or however much it was for a tiny bottle of Advil at the Atlanta airport.  I popped triple the recommended dosage and was finally able to sit without pain for the 4-hour flight to Salt Lake City.  I’m still hurting today, but some more drugs and hopefully a trip to the gym for some serious stretching tonight will get me back on the mend.

I suffered another sex injury this weekend.  Saturday night my girlfriend was in a particularly giving mood.  (I guess I had met with the approval of her 30+ relatives at the wedding.)  She has always been hesitant to try 69ing for some reason, but she offered it up without my even asking, and it was pretty damn stellar.  We started off laying side by side but soon she half-twisted so my ass was flat on the bed and she was basically diving straight down on my cock.  She was drunk enough to relax her gag reflex and it was nothing short of amazing.

But then, somewhere along the way she decided to roll me over on top of her.  As soon as her head hit the bed and my cock started to sink into her mouth her jaw closed and her teeth clamped around me.  I yelped like a kicked puppy dog and pulled out as quick as I could without losing skin on her scraping teeth.

I’m still not sure exactly what happened, if she panicked when I started to slide towards her throat or what, but Holy Jesus it was terrifying!  She felt terrible about it too.  After checking to make sure I wasn’t bleeding, and waiting a moment for my heart to stop pounding from the near-death experience, we gave up the 69 for the night and went back to straight sex.  Which was still pretty fucking awesome if I do say so myself.

So today I’m hobbling around like an old man.  My dick feels like it did when I was a teenager who had just discovered porn and whacked off like five times in a day without any lube (those were the days).

Totally worth it though.

P.S.   She wore the Buffalo Sabres bikini this weekend, the one from my last post.  It was fucking awesome.



  1. Legs over the shoulders….very strong!

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